


hurricane.

by freiline



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 08:40:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22847335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freiline/pseuds/freiline
Summary: This twisted relationship birthed from something not as pure and simple as love but something much more convoluted, something dark and almost taboo.
Relationships: Sanada Genichirou/Yukimura Seiichi, Yagyuu Hiroshi/Niou Masaharu, Yukimura Seiichi/Niou Masaharu
Kudos: 9
Collections: Birth And Fester





	1. give and take.

**Author's Note:**

> fic playlist [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Yda9ASYfijHmcLhiJVQU8?si=OEig0hJ9ThuNhtDsGu9J7A)! i wouldn't recommend this for the faint of heart, but if you do read it i hope you enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Content / Trigger** Warnings: Coercion, (Slightly) Dubious Consent (but it really is consensual for both parties! some people just might not see it that way?)
> 
> This is set in 2016-early 2017 of the 'Birth And Fester' universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the first draft this chapter in particular (but honestly the entire fic as a whole too) became heavily inspired from the song HURRICANE by ReN (which can be found in the playlist, english translation by me can be found [here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1x039WNIAzq2HvDEqryYJPOUUnU_dv6uhIGj4-CPhfsQ/edit?usp=sharing))!

Niou couldn't remember when it all began, just that it did at some point and now they were too far gone to go back.

He figured it all began in junior high, on that fateful day he joined the tennis team and met the de facto leader of the Three Demons. No one could go against him then, and no one could go against him now. Not Yagyuu, not Sanada, not even Marui who Niou could tell wanted to leave their peculiar circle of loyal Yukimura followers (as Niou liked to describe them). And not even he himself.

Yukimura had all of them wrapped around his fingers and as much as Niou hated it, a small part of him didn’t know anything else.

* * *

[From]: Yukimura  
You just finished work, right?（＾ ＾）Let’s go eat dinner, my treat.

Niou knew what always followed after dinner.

As it so happens, Niou _had_ just finished work (and it was no longer shocking that Yukimura’s timing was impeccable, because Yukimura in general had always been impeccable). After a major appearance change (he had already done away with his rattail before university, but now he rocked a stellar workplace-appropriate shade of brown), he graduated university with a degree in architecture and just entered his 2nd year in a small but respectable architecture firm. In the past two years, he had been given the opportunity to work directly with clients a handful of times, however for the most part he was still stuck giving aid and feedback to the head architect for the project, who was usually a colleague many years his senior.

The train doors soon came to a close and the train continued its journey down the tracks. It was already some time after rush hour, however the train was still crowded enough for all the seats to have been occupied and so Niou stood with a hand held onto one of the hand grips. His other hand held up his phone to his eye level and he stared at the message, thinking of a reply that would satisfy the man whose very presence commanded authority yet at the same time satisfy himself. He usually couldn’t meet both criteria.

His former captain knew a project in which Niou was the head architect had just wrapped up, so it was most likely Yukimura assumed he was back to assisting his seniors, and usually that entailed less of a work load than when he was in charge. Despite that, Niou dared an attempt at lying and his fingers got to typing before he could second guess himself. When it came to Yukimura, Niou realised that what worked for them best was Niou running on impulse and less on well thought out strategies. Because Yukimura saw through those easily, and Niou gave up trying.

[From]: Niou  
I’m bringing home some work to do so I’ll pass. I’ll let you know when I’m free?

His heart thrummed hard against his chest in anxiety as his thumb, a little shakily, pressed send. There was no turning back now, and all that was left was to wait for Yukimura’s reply with bated breath. He didn’t have to wait too long, however, as Yukimura’s replies to his _beloved_ former teammates whenever he’d go out of his way to seek them out never came far after their responses. He spent a few minutes scrolling through Twitter when the little notification popped up at the top of his screen and he immediately clicked on it to open Yukimura’s Line message, afraid yet eager to finally know his fate.

[From]: Yukimura  
Niou.  
Don’t lie.

Niou felt his face go pale and his heart sink. He saw it coming, he knew the man whose former epithet was literally “The Child of God” would see through his lie yet nevertheless that didn’t stop him from hoping Yukimura would let it slide this one time and leave him alone. He had already opened the two messages, so he knew Yukimura at any moment (or even at that exact moment he opened the messages) would soon see that the message status changed from ‘Sent’ to ‘Seen’, but try as he might his mind was abuzz and he couldn’t promptly think of how to respond back.

Niou didn’t want to see him again. Not forever, he knew it was futile to escape if the child of god demanded to see you, but at least not this soon after they’ve just recently met. They’ve been meeting up more increasingly frequent lately and a part of Niou was worried as to why, but at the same time a sliver of hope grew inside of him that whatever this was would end soon enough. That Yukimura would finally grow tired of playing around with him and find another victim to prey on. Even if logically speaking the chances of that were slim after almost a decade of the same back and forth, he still thought Yukimura was due.

The brown-haired male continued to stare at the opened chat window as he tried to think of how to respond, but soon enough the notification number at the top left of the screen increased and he immediately knew who it was. He pressed the back button right beside the notification number and, as expected, he received a message from Yagyuu.

[From]: Yagyuu  
Are you really busy? Yukimura said you rejected dinner with him because you have work to do?

Yukimura had all of them in the palm of his hands one way or another. He always used Yagyuu to get to Niou, knowing that if Niou somehow still managed to display the guts to defy Yukimura, then the only other course of action left was to deploy Yagyuu. To remind Niou of his place, and to remind Niou of what was at stake.

‘ _Your owner is under my control_ ’, Yukimura’s voice nagged at the back of his head, although he never once heard Yukimura explicitly tell him that. It was just such a given fact, with how their former ~~patriarch~~ captain would dangle Yagyuu in front of him, that his subconscious mind formed an illusion as vivid as a memory.

He couldn’t remember the last time he consciously breathed in, and that wouldn’t change any time soon with his breath still held in fear of what was to come.

[From]: Niou  
Nah, I was just messing around  
I’ll message Yukimura now

He feared that he unintentionally left a trace of something for Yagyuu to uncover that he’d be absolutely horrified for his ~~other half — I am him, and he is I —~~ former doubles partner to find out, however he couldn’t spend any more time worrying about that. He had to quickly salvage what he’d possibly wrecked, and he immediately sent Yukimura a reply.

[From]: Niou  
Then where do you want to eat?  
I’ll just go back and do my work after

It was a pointless attempt at holding his ground and implying that they would be having dinner and _nothing more_ , yet he tried to get his message across and hoped that whichever gods were up in Heaven would head his prayer.

Niou didn’t have to wait long to be disappointed.

[From]: Yukimura  
It’ll be a surprise~  
Where are you now? I drove my car to work today so I’ll pick you up d(^^ )

No mention or implication that Yukimura had acknowledged the second half of his reply, because Yukimura was usually proper with these things and he’d acknowledge when someone requested to end the night early. Meaning he actively chose to _ignore_ it, and dinner was not what they’d end their night with.

Niou messaged Yukimura the name of the next station and got off when the doors opened, heart pounding hard against his chest and doom enveloped around him.

* * *

A storm was brewing outside the windows of Yukimura’s apartment and if not for the irregular streaks of lightning that would cut through the sky, the only source of luminance in the room was the lamp on Yukimura’s bedside table that he’d turn on the moment they came in.

Yukimura had Niou pressed firmly down onto his bed and their clothes were already long ago left strewn across the bedroom floor, his hand securely holding bound wrists right above Niou’s head and his free hand circling round the base of Niou’s throbbing member teasingly. Lips met the side of Niou’s neck and teeth bared down into pale flesh, nibbling and earning controlled whimpers from the man under him. Yukimura was beginning to see the test to his patience and he was certain it was all an elaborate plan on Niou’s part to keep him satisfied; he didn’t like for things to come to him easily, liked to work for his rewards and reap the benefits when the fruit was ripest. They were surely reaching that point sooner than before, but the prolonged foreplay was getting boring and one thing they shared in common was their lack of fondness for ennui.

And so Yukimura pulled out of Niou for a brief moment before jerking himself back in with a force that pushed out a gasped moan, delighted by the rumble against his lips from the vibrations that erupted from Niou’s throat.

 _Much better_ , Yukimura commented to himself as his lips left Niou’s neck and trailed kisses up to Niou’s ear, whispering low and soft. “Why do you always resist when you know what’ll happen in the end?”

 _Because if I don’t, you’ll get bored of me_ , came the immediate response in Niou’s mind but no, that wasn’t right. Not completely, at least, and so Niou swallowed the words before they could take form in his vocal cords.

Yukimura lightly bit the tip of Niou’s ear and received a ticklish breath against his own. He knew Niou was still holding back on him, and he needed Niou indecent and lascivious. Enough to make Yukimura forget the memory of his confident smirk and rebellious cheek, enough for the both of them to forget the harsh reality they so longed to escape from, and enough to pull them so deep into their self-deception that the line between illusion and actuality blur into nothingness.

“I asked you a question, Masaharu,” he tried again in a teasing purr, tapping with a finger the tie that restrained Niou’s wrists together. “If you answer nicely, I’ll undo this for you and let you touch yourself.”

The rain raged on outside the apartment just as a personal storm raged on within Niou. There was so much to answer, yet so little words existed in the entirety of the universe; how could he fully articulate the anomalous nature of their relationship, which no doubt was a necessity to respond to Yukimura’s question?

_Help me forget everything, and I’ll help you forget everything too._

He wasn’t the only one benefitting from their unorthodox transactions, this twisted relationship birthed from something not as pure and simple as love but something much more convoluted, something dark and almost taboo. Niou knew the reason why Yukimura kept chasing after him, and Yukimura knew the reason why Niou kept allowing himself to be chased. For a guy who grew up with adoration aplenty and everything laid out on gold platters for him, Niou was the one conquest Yukimura could never fully ascertain and bend to his complete will. And for someone like Niou, whose tragic love (messed up in its own right) would never be fully requited, the chase from a man he so greatly admired and even revered for years now was enough to keep his demons at bay. Anything to replace tears of frustration with cries of pleasure, and anything to bask in some semblance of light.

Yukimura was equally as fucked up as he was, and Niou refused to let Yukimura fool himself into thinking he was his messiah.

Niou eventually tried out an answer, knowing full well he had to give Yukimura a reasonable enough response but his pride holding him back from relinquishing full control just yet. “You know why I do it.”

The response seemed to satisfy Yukimura well enough, however, as he watched Yukimura reach up with both hands to undo the tie wrapped around his wrists, hissing slightly as the fabric chafed his skin even further.

“So long as you’re aware,” Yukimura murmured with a hint of a knowing smile as he straightened up, evidently more pleased than Niou assumed him to be.

Yukimura was a sick bastard, Niou thought to himself. There was no doubt in his mind that Yukimura wanted Niou to be aware of his role in their little mutual setup, that he needed to satisfy Yukimura and to excite him, keep him on his toes and keep him chasing Niou for more without the threat of total insolence. Because Niou was his humble servant, after all, they all were servants to the child of god. That had been the case for the past decade, and Niou was almost certain that would remain the case till the end of time.

Though scoff as he may at Yukimura’s twisted fantasy, something about that excited him as well and his erection throbbed for attention. His hands slowly slid down his body and stopped right between his legs, coyly crossing them while a hand wrapped around his erection and began stroking slowly. 

“Don’t act like you didn’t want to see this,” Niou was all conceited banter again in between whimpers, just the way Yukimura liked him.

_Make me forget, help me feel better, I’m not afraid._

Yukimura clicked his tongue and an annoyed growl pushed past his lips, a foreign sound coming from a man so normally poised yet at the same time absolutely entrancing. “You’re getting awfully cheeky again.”

He spreaded Niou’s legs apart and propped one of them onto his shoulders, holding it securely in place as his other hand braced himself onto the bed. Yukimura didn’t give Niou a warning when he pulled out completely right before burrowing himself back deep into Niou and beginning a series of definitive thrusts, ploughing hard and with every intention of making Niou crumble under him. Niou moaned out in both pleasure and anguish as Yukimura wasted no time in quickening his pace, eager to milk out of Niou those sweet delectable cries he worked so hard to earn. Yukimura shifted to get a better angle and made it his mission to jab that particular sweet spot within Niou with each thrust, effectively earning a rhapsody of lewd pants and whimpers.

“I won’t let you scream out his name.” Even Niou could tell, amidst his own euphoria, that Yukimura was beginning to come undone, his voice rugged and slightly shaky from the pleasure of himself basked deep within Niou. “Say my name. Tell me who’s fucking you right now.”

Niou knew how to play his cards right, calculative as it may sound and contrary to the previously declared sentiment that strategic forethought usually yielded no results with Yukimura. But Niou was known for his cunning disposition and Yukimura allowed him some episodes of manipulation, especially when it produced such delectable fruit for him.

“Seiichi,” Niou rasped out just as Yukimura grinded himself hard into the electrifying spot far within Niou, his back now arching slightly off the bed and the heat of his arousal consuming him.

He could almost feel the other male harden within him and he heard the sharp groan that escaped from Yukimura’s throat, an indicative sign of not only Yukimura’s burgeoning desire but also his contentment with Niou’s compliance. “Good boy,” Yukimura quietly praised and Niou’s member throbbed hard in his hand, instantly speeding up his strokes in tandem with Yukimura’s thrusts.

Yukimura leaned forward and his lips found their way back to the side of Niou’s neck, teeth piercing and breaking skin once more. That did little to curb Niou’s already insurmountable excitement and a moan escaped his lips, his wrist twisting and fingers tightening around the full length of his hardened erection just the way he liked it. Pain made way for pleasure with each of Yukimura’s thrusts and Niou soon gave himself up to the titillating sensation of Yukimura pounding hard into him, writhing from the rapture of it all and hips rolling to meet every single one of Yukimura’s thrusts.

Years of training have led Niou to this point. Yukimura was all he truly knew, and Yukimura was all he’ll truly know for as long as Yukimura would entertain him. He couldn’t see anything else beyond Yukimura, he who had so little to begin with and now so little to lose. There was no turning back now, not with the promise of Yukimura and his hurricane washing all of his pain away. And all Yukimura asked in return was the never-ending chase of a lifetime.

Niou’s body trembled from the force of Yukimura’s exertion and their moans laced together, increasing in volume as their breathing turned more and more shallow. Niou’s free hand reached up to entangle his fingers into the now disheveled mess of Yukimura’s hair, tugging and yanking with the force of his immense arousal and earning a sharp bite somewhere down along his torso.

“Seiichi!” Niou cried out in wanton bliss from the newly formed hickey and his hand sped up its strokes, albeit sloppily and in disarray from the sensation of Yukimura persistently hitting that gratifying spot.

Niou continued to repeatedly call out Yukimura’s name in ecstasy as Yukimura in turn continued to bless Niou’s skin with reddened marks. Yukimura liked, no, _needed_ to know the effects he had on Niou, the brown-haired male noticed. To feel that he was worth something, and to forget that Sanada deemed him not worthy enough to fight for and truly accept for who he was.

_Help me forget, and I’ll show you how to live on in this cruel and unfair world._

Niou was no longer conscious of the sounds he was making and in all honesty, he didn’t care. This was the part of their nights where he’d let Yukimura have what he wanted and he’d once again rely on impulse, allowing for animalistic instincts to take over and the wash of desire take him wherever it wanted to go.

For a moment, they both forgot everything as Yukimura’s thrusts got increasingly shorter, leading up to the point where Niou helped Yukimura ride out his climax and their bodies convulsed together from the force of their mutual orgasm.

Yukimura rested his forehead against Niou’s for a brief moment as he placed Niou’s leg back down onto the bed, waiting for their breathing to reach a regular rhythm before he pulled out and sat down at the edge of the bed right beside Niou. The moment the other male pulled out, Niou felt his semen pour out from inside him and trickle down onto the bed, effectively soiling the area between his legs.

“You’ve dirtied my sheets.” Yukimura suddenly spoke out into the dimmed darkness. He hummed with a voice as light as air, completely oblivious to the weight of his words. “Shall I call Yagyuu over to help you clean them?”

Niou was immediately on high alert and whatever energy had left his body from their intercourse surged back into his body. He shot up in terror and his eyes bore hard into the back of Yukimura’s shoulders, his voice almost pleading. “Yukimura, don’t you dare.”

Yukimura’s response was quick and sharp, effectively reminding Niou of the command he held over anyone who’d been blessed to hear his voice. “And who said you could start giving me orders?” Niou flinched at the wave of ice that poured out from Yukimura's voice, preparing himself to be met with Yukimura's wrath but immediately relaxing when he heard Yukimura chuckle, albeit eerily. "Relax. I was only kidding."

The terrifying thing about Yukimura was that you never really knew whenever he was joking, regardless of the level of severity that was normally a tell-tale sign in most cases. Niou thought to remind Yukimura of that but his thoughts were cut off when Yukimura turned to face him with eyes devoid of all warmth, filled with the same subzero temperature his voice contained before. Niou flinched again and cowered slightly, however the child of god paid no heed to his need for distance and reached out to grab hold of Niou’s chin with one hand, yanking him forward and effectively diminishing what little space remained between them.

Yukimura looked straight into Niou’s eyes and he spoke in a low timber, his gaze piercing and his voice rough like gravel. “I could give you everything you ever needed.”

Yukimura couldn’t do it, at least not all of it, but Niou figured that wasn’t the answer Yukimura wanted to hear. And perhaps Yukimura felt a little annoyed at that, his inability to provide what Niou lacked. Not out of love or even a hint of affection for his former teammate, but for the blow to his pride that he, so bountiful in many ways and so filled with blessings, lacked in something someone coveted.

They tried to conceal from others that they both in some ways were puzzles with significant pieces missing, and try as they might there was no healthy and non-destructive way for them to find the missing pieces within one another. Only the semblance of momentary relief, and escapism from reality.

Niou’s smirk from earlier on in the night resurfaced at half mast and he tried an attempt at cocky wit, ignoring the threat of having to face the reality of their circumstances because none of them wanted that. The grand truth was never a part of their agreement. “And what’s the fun in that?”

Yukimura scoffed and let out a small chuckle. “Fair point.”

Leaning forward, he captured Niou’s lips for a rough kiss before shoving Niou back down onto the bed. Yukimura would continue to squeeze out as much of what he wanted out from Niou as he physically could and Niou would let him, until they both grew tired of playing make belief and allowed the ghost of slumber to haunt their spent bodies.


	2. bouts of grief.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of timeless, but the time frame i had in mind was the beginning of university (2012)? And then it continues on till 2017 of the 'Birth and Fester' universe.

Whenever Yagyuu would get himself a new girlfriend, Niou would disappear for a few days. Not that he would drop off the face of the Earth, it appeared that he still went to university or work as per normal and went about his routine like any other day, however he wouldn’t even leave people on ‘Read’ — the messages would be left untouched until days after the news made its rounds, until after he resurfaced from his bout of grief and made himself ready to properly face the world. Yukimura hated those moments most, dreaded it whenever Yagyuu would casually mention a new flame, because even he would be left on ‘Sent’ just like everyone else, and he liked to think that after all they’ve been through Niou would consider him privy to the more intimate moments in his life. Okay, he had to admit that a part of it was also the slight blow to his pride at being left on ‘Sent’.

But that came to an end one day in their second year of university when Yukimura went out of his way to fetch Niou from his house and drag him to his apartment, much to both their surprises. Niou still lived with his family back then, it was only once he started working that he got an apartment of his own, however Yukimura on the other hand was already settled into his own apartment soon after he started university. His parents provided him a monthly allowance to pay for all the works (rent, bills, daily essentials) but everything else was for Yukimura to manage on his own — a taste and test of independence, if you will.

Now, whenever Yagyuu had a new girlfriend, Niou knew well enough to bring himself to Yukimura’s apartment, because going there willingly by his own two feet was far better than if Yukimura had to personally escort him to his apartment. Niou already had his own toothbrush and set of underwear at Yukimura’s place, not just for whenever Yagyuu would gouge out his heart but also for the nights Niou would stay over after their passionate tumbles on the bedsheets. That was all Niou was allowed to leave at Yukimura’s apartment, however; not only did Yukimura not like the idea of housing more items that weren’t his own, extra clothes at another’s apartment felt too much like an act between lovers and they weren’t lovers, they drew the line there. Niou wasn’t the only person Yukimura would have sleep over at his apartment every now and then and engage in similar acts with, either; Yukimura was already giving Niou special treatment as is.

Sometimes Niou would bring his own clothes, and sometimes he’d borrow clothes from Yukimura’s ample closet. Oddly enough for someone like Yukimura, he enjoyed seeing Niou wear his clothes. He said it was yet another way for him to mark Niou, and sometimes he’d specifically ask Niou to go to work in his clothes.

Niou didn’t dare to ask if Yukimura shared such perverse interactions with other bedmates as well.

Another point of interest was what they’d do during the days Niou would stay over. Sometimes Yukimura would get Niou to watch foreign films with him, an arm slung casually around Niou’s shoulders and Niou’s head tucked snug under Yukimura’s chin. Sometimes they’d fuck until Niou’s voice went hoarse from his cries and his tear mingled with the sweat from their exertion. Niou found the latter more pleasurable (or more accurately, easier to drown out his thoughts and even forget himself), while Yukimura almost significantly preferred the former.

Till this day, Niou didn’t know why Yukimura paid so much attention to him. He heard he was there for Jackal, providing him comfort and aid during trying times, so perhaps this was the same thing. Care and concern for a former teammate turned good friend. Or perhaps he considered it retribution for whenever it was his turn to face grief, because whenever the tables were turned things weren’t as breezy as it was with Niou.

Whenever Sanada found himself a new girlfriend, a message from Yukimura would soon follow suit, sometimes summoning Niou out for drinks and sometimes cutting straight to the chase and summoning him to his apartment.

Yukimura was never gentle with him then, only edged words and almost brutish holds to curtail the raging storm inside of him. Niou didn’t mind offering himself up as an outlet for his former captain; a part of him genuinely thought himself to be a masochist, because finding pleasure in bound hands and degrading insults usually tied in with that label, while the other half debated whether or not it simply came as a product of his ~~training~~ time with Yukimura, that it was nurture and not inherent nature.

The hardest part of it all was without a doubt the aftermath of their deed. Yukimura would hold Niou tenderly then, pulled in close and flush against his own chest. Fingers almost piercing through skin from where his arms wrapped around Niou’s shoulders, the aggression from earlier forgotten yet making itself known as a glaring reminder of what he’d done. Yukimura would bury his face into Niou’s hair and apologise in between trembling sobs, tears running down his cheeks and landing onto the mess of brown strands. Niou would hold him securely then, like a mother supporting their grief-stricken child, heart aching and hands comfortingly running up and down Yukimura’s spine. Niou could never _not_ forgive him, not then when a man so full of pride was so openly shedding tears and crying with all the heartache of a thousand men, not ever. The only time he had let others hear him cry was after their ‘loss’ in the Kanto Tournament during their final year of junior high, and even then he’d sent them out of the bleak hospital room so they couldn’t see his anguished face. But now Yukimura bared it all for Niou to console, Niou and only Niou. No one else would know Yukimura’s suffering like he did, because at the end of the day they were both in the same boat, stranded somewhere in the middle of the ocean far from the reach of everyone else.

In times of distress they would embrace one another in ways others could never do for them, and even if it wasn’t ideal… there was some comfort to be found in knowing you weren’t alone.


	3. netflix and chill.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This occurs in 2013 of the 'Birth and Fester' universe, however it could honestly occur at any time from then until 2015-2016. It most likely happens on occasion during that time anyways, when they both are single.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot to mention that this entire fic came to life basically because of [this](https://twitter.com/kb_illustration/status/855987549461823489?s=20) fanart, and while i'm at it this chapter was very losely inspired by [this](https://twitter.com/kb_illustration/status/882660473723691008?s=20) fanart. i'm saying this for no reason either than to promote this artist honestly, how they draw yukimura is how i picture yukimura (as i'm writing)!

Sometimes, Yukimura didn’t know why Niou still stuck around with him.

Of course he knew why, despite how unspoken the terms and agreements of their ‘relationship’ was. There were just some things that were better left unsaid, and some things that didn’t need to be said at all. The former included the whole nuance of romance in their implicit contract, or to be more accurate the absence of. They were both fully aware that they were _not_ dating, nor were they in love; Niou’s heart has and will always be in Yagyuu’s captivity, and the same could be said for Yukimura’s with Sanada. However, what they didn’t need to verbally express was that they would always be there for one another, as fellow comrades on the same boat who understood one another in a way others would most likely frown upon.

How Yukimura liked to interpret it was that Sanada may _know_ him best, but Niou _understood_ him best.

It was finals season in their 2nd year of university and, wanting not only someone to keep him in check but also wanting a more conducive environment to study in asides from the clamour of his well-populated household, Niou asked Yukimura if he could stay over till the day of his last exam. Niou had been to Yukimura’s apartment more times than he could count on his fingers now — and some of those incidents even had him staying over for the night — however it was still up in the air whether Yukimura would have allowed him to stay for longer than that, so it was needless to say still a little surprising when Yukimura agreed.

Yukimura had to admit that he said yes on a bit of a whim; there was the possibility that if Niou had asked on another day at another time, he might have said no. And yet there they were now, not studying at all and in actual fact lounging about on Yukimura’s couch.

At some point, Yukimura had tuned out from the movie on the television -- it was some action film from a franchise Yukimura never started, so truth be told it was a wonder he remained attentive for some time at all. His mind instead was focused on the whole concept he was currently a part of, an arm slung around another’s shoulders and the other tucked close to his side. He wondered if this would be what it was like if he was still dating Sanada (he doubted it), a random thought to have given how 4 years had already passed since they broke up, but most would still understand how he got there. He also understood how it might have been a little rude to think of another with someone else under his arm, but their ‘relationship’ was unorthodox to begin with and there wasn’t really a rulebook for these things.

There was no hiding from the fact that they both were, with evident consent, using each other as replacements, and yet at the same time there was more to it than just that.

Yukimura looked past the mass of bleached hair to look down at Niou, who now had his head rested on Yukimura’s shoulder. Anyone who knew Sanada and Niou would know better than to mistaken the two for one another, both in appearance and the general make of their characters, and yet Yukimura was still curious. Curious to see if they had anything in common, and where else those differences laid.

“Niou.” Yukimura called out to him, not much of anything indicating in his voice, and Niou shifted to look up at his former captain with a raised eyebrow.

Without wasting another second, Yukimura tilted Niou’s chin up with a finger and closed the distance between them by leaning in, capturing Niou’s lips with his own for a sudden kiss. Yukimura remained motionless at first, merely counting in his head the seconds Niou took to shake off his surprise and respond back. He was slightly disappointed that it didn’t take long for that to occur — difference number one, Sanada would have frozen in shock for longer, even after the many times they’ve kissed. He then trapped Niou’s chin between his index finger and thumb, pulling Niou closer as his tongue poked out to prod Niou’s lips apart. Niou easily gave way for Yukimura’s tongue — difference number two, Sanada would have made an adorable startled noise — and so Yukimura pressed on, tongues meeting and intertwining.

Difference number three. Yukimura never really went this far _this_ quickly with Sanada.

 _Not cute at all_ , Yukimura remarked in his mind before eventually pulling away from the kiss and releasing his hold on Niou’s chin, dropping his hand down onto his lap and meeting Niou’s rather unfazed expression.

Difference number four. Sanada's cheeks wouldn't be as pale as Niou's now, instead more vibrant with vermilion as a show of his embarrassment.

“Can I ask why?” Niou asked with a slight tilt of his head, the same raised eyebrow back on his now slightly smug face.

Yukimura shrugged and increased the distance between them. “I was just wondering if you’d respond the same way Sanada used to.”

Niou clicked his tongue and gave Yukimura an almost scolding look. Almost, because Yukimura knew Niou wouldn’t _dare_ to actually scold _him_. “Oi oi, decide already. Are we forbidden to talk about Sanada or not?”

Yukimura smiled pleasantly, and stated with a voice that matched his current demeanour. “You are, but I’m not. That’s the rule I’ve just decided.” Ignoring the fact that Yukimura never showed Niou the same courtesy with Yagyuu, though they were both aware that Niou didn’t really care about trivialities like that.

Niou scoffed and turned his head back to the television with a hum. “And they say _I’m_ the despicable one.”

Yukimura chuckled softly and his fingers idly fiddled with the fabric of Niou’s shirt at his shoulder. He truly was getting bored, however, and he wouldn’t find the entertainment he sought for from the gratuitous violence on screen. After an ear-piercing scream from the television, because that _truly_ was how to get a man all riled up, Yukimura suddenly spoke again. “Hey, wanna have sex?”

There was silence for a moment (and no doubt, Niou was thinking of something facetious to respond with) but not long after, Niou delighted Yukimura with his response. “Can I say no?”

A short laugh escaped his nose and Yukimura thought to himself for a moment. He was feeling rather generous tonight, and truth be told he could go either way. He could always find something else to occupy him, and it wasn’t exactly the act of sex in and of itself that he enjoyed with Niou. It was Niou himself, his quick wit and even quicker disposition to humour Yukimura’s occasional absurdity, that kept Yukimura enthralled. Enthralled enough and for long enough, at least, for Yukimura to temporarily escape the nagging agony of his heartache that always displeased him at the back of his head. “Okay. I’ll allow it.”

Niou scoffed again and moved a hand up to gently (anything else would be insolent) tug Yukimura’s arm off his shoulder. “It’s no fun when _you’re_ the one giving way.”

Contrary to the implications of his jest, Niou soon turned around and shoved Yukimura’s shoulder down onto the couch, wasting no time in climbing on top of Yukimura and straddling his hips. Yukimura’s hands found their way to Niou’s waist and up his spine right after Niou threw his shirt over his head and discarded it somewhere onto the floor, immediately neglected in favour of Niou leaning down close and murmuring cheekily. “I’ll make it worth your while, _buchou_.”

Yukimura would soon punish Niou for his rough handling, he noted to himself, but there were other more important matters to address first. His fingernails dug slightly into Niou’s back and he warned seriously. “Don’t dirty my couch.”

“Understood,” Niou whispered against Yukimura’s lips with the ghost of a smirk before their mouths met again. Tongues battled for dominance as fingernails raked skin to leave their mark, their choir of rasps and whimpers soon drowning out the racket of the now-forgotten movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case anyone's wondering, niou _never_ tops with yukimura. yukimura only ever bottoms for sanada (though even with sanada, he's still primarily the top), and so you are free to imagine that niou ends up riding yukimura in this scenario (sorry for not writing it out, i'm actually really bad at sex scenes even if my fic 'catharsis' might tell you otherwise lol)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of like Chapter 2 ("bouts of grief.") in how timeless it is (from 2012-2016/early 2017 of the 'Birth and Fester' universe), however it could also occur after the previous chapter. So essentially, it could be whenever.

Yukimura sometimes thought how much easier life would’ve been if he could fall in love with Niou. They understand each other well, have great chemistry in bed (as repeatedly demonstrated), and have slept at the other’s home (in this case, Niou at Yukimura’s) often enough to know that living together wouldn’t be so bad. But alas, the heart wants what it wants, and logic be damned in the face of true emotions.

He rolled on to his side and gazed down to where Niou slept on the futon he took out and positioned right beside his bed on the ground. Despite the many times they’ve both simply fallen asleep on his bed after intercourse, for some reason Niou would still insist on sleeping on a futon whenever he could. Yukimura didn’t know if it was a show of Niou’s kindness, that he understood Yukimura to be a fairly private person and that having someone sleep over was already a grand feat as is, let alone sharing the same bed. Or it could have been Niou’s attempt at drawing a line and distance between them whenever he could, budded from the guilt and disgust he felt from the lies they tried to convince one another were anything but.

They said that even in slumber, if someone were to be staring at you, you could wake from the person’s gaze on you alone. Yukimura had no doubt there was some scientific conjecture or postulation behind it that could explain the phenomenon, but scientific explanation or not there was no denying its validity as he saw it occur right now before him, Niou eventually rolling onto his side as well facing Yukimura and his eyelids slowly fluttering open in the dark.

Yukimura counted the seconds it took for Niou’s eyes to adjust to the darkness and realise that he was staring at him, chuckling quietly at Niou’s startled expression complete with a gasp muffled from sleep. _Cute_ , Yukimura commented to himself, but quickly pushed the thought aside in favour of listening to Niou speak.

“Don’t do that shit, Yukimura, it’s fricking creepy.” Niou mumbled with little clarity, his words roughened by sleep and evidently slurred.

Yukimura wished he would find that cute too, but he did not. At least not in particular. “Sorry, sorry. I was just thinking about something,” he chuckled sheepishly and scooted on the bed, patting the sufficient empty space beside him as an indicator of asking Niou to join him on the bed.

Even in the dark, Yukimura could practically see the gears churning in Niou’s head, watching the inner battle ensue of whether he should heed Yukimura’s instructions or not. It was clear as well in Niou’s attempt at stalling by throwing out an innocuous quip, using the short garnered time to consider his options. “I thought _I_ was the thinker between us, leave some work for me to do, will you?”

Yukimura was having none of it; he saw right through Niou’s try at buying time for himself. He patted the spot beside him again for good measure, and they both knew the underlying message he now tried to get across. ' _Do not make me repeat myself again_ ' hung heavy in the air, and Niou couldn’t help but eventually give in to Yukimura’s wishes. Scratching his head with a yawn all telling of his fatigue, Niou reluctantly (and sluggishly, at that) got up and slipped under the covers of Yukimura’s bed as Yukimura’s orders dictated. Yukimura soon wrapped his arms around Niou’s waist and tugged him close against his chest, lips meeting moonlight-lit bleached hair. There was a moment of silence as they both adjusted to get comfortable, Niou wrapping his own arms around Yukimura’s waist and trying to shift in a slightly awkward attempt at ensuring his ‘morning’ boner wouldn’t be discovered by Yukimura (he did in the end, but he didn’t care). Soon enough, however, Niou broke into the eerie silence of the night with a question the other male didn’t know exactly how to respond to.

“Are you okay? Did our dearest captain have a nightmare?” Niou probed with a layer of cheek, to be sure, but Yukimura could hear the underlying concern in his voice and something about it made him want to gag a little.

Niou was a great person all in all, both in general and as a potential romantic interest. And yet his heart refused to see reason, so Niou’s amiability was nothing but a glaring reminder of that fact.

Yukimura shook his head. He wished it were that simple, the ghost of a nightmare plaguing his inability to sleep, but perhaps the thought that dawned upon him was a nightmare in its own right. “No, I was just thinking how…” He trailed off with a soft sigh. “I wish I could give you my heart.”

Silence once again took over, but it wasn’t an awkward one. Yukimura was well past the uncomfortable feeling of bringing up heavy topics with Niou, and Niou shared the same sentiment. All that was left was the blaring reality that they’d gone through so much together, navigated through life’s trials and the tempestuous tribulations of their circumstances with each other by their side, and yet this was all they would be. Friends who licked each other wounds, and played make belief to escape from the world around them.

Niou sighed with the grief of a man so beyond his years. He pulled away slightly, ever so slightly, to gaze up at Yukimura with a tenderness he could see even amidst the darkness of the night, and it made his gut clench (there it was again, the overbearing guilt and the unwanted woe). Niou brought a hand up to cradle Yukimura’s cheek, thumb caressing smooth skin as he in turn showed vulnerability of his own. “I know. I wish I could too.”

Yukimura, overcome with a surge of emotion unknown to him, bridged the gap between them and stole Niou’s lips with a tender kiss, ardent with his lament and the sorrow of a man who wished he could have given _more_. Niou’s fingers splayed back into Yukimura’s hair as he felt the dampness of Yukimura’s tears, wiping the trails they left behind with his thumb and pulling Yukimura closer, flush against him, all comfort and soothing back rubs.

They licked each other’s wounds till morning came and the horrors of the night were placed behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if it's worth mentioning that they're both clothed? I pictured them both to just be wearing a shirt and boxers, Niou in monochromatic colours and Yukimura in a light-coloured shirt? Not that it really matters, sorry you had to read this lol


End file.
